Tell me.............. !!!

Tell Me

Tell me the way you tell me

A look in your eyes and I see,
How better a person I can be.
When your eyes close, its only me they see
When open they search all over for me.
I know what lies deep in your heart
But still I would want you to tell me.

Tell me what lies in your heart
Tell me the way you tell me
Tell me what I see in your eyes
Tell me, just tell me.

Your silence speaks what your heart wants to say .
Though you are close, you still seem far away.
Outside a mere friend is what you pretend,
But hey girl, I know you deep inside.
But still I would want you to tell me.

Tell me what lies in your heart
Tell me the way you tell me
Tell me what I see in your eyes
Tell me, just tell me

Every dream - (together we will share)
Each difficulty - (together we will bear )
Tell me -
You will always be there

I believe I can fly !!!

I used to think that I could not go on,

And life was nothing but an awful song,

...See I was on the verge of breaking down,

Sometimes silence can seem so loud.

Another day passes by .., but I feel not the same as the day before a few days .

At times life seems to change its path , sometimes it doesnt just move on . Sorry , if this aint making any sense to you , but I have seen a small change in me ... for I can see a wave of silence engulf me , no this is not new to me , I have been through this many a times , times when i feel alone in the middle of a crowd, times when i see darkness in light , times when ...... silence can seem so loud .. shhhh ! They say " silence speaks" I agree .. silence does speak .. but the language it speaks is kinda coded , which can be deciphered by only those who know you and understand you

Silence Kills at times ... for when it throws its arms around you , holds you so tight , that you feel your are being choked .. you wanna shout , but you suddenly realise you have no voice . Its the time when you realise your worth - when you know whats happening around you in its true sense - when you realise that what u thought is not what it is ....when smiles become transparent and reveal the evil grins that they hide !!! ... Its the world ... the people you deal with all day .A reason behind everything ! Its the time when you know you need to strive alone , therese no one around , who will carry you on their shoulders and take you to your destination. But .....
... a few minutes before ... I just closed my eyes.... and ventured in to the darkness ... a little had i travelled when i saw a few sparkles ... like bright stars on a moonless night ... like candles giving you light. They twinkled in my eyes , and sparkled a sense of belonging , a sense of support, a feel of togetherness ! ... and when i took a close look at each one of them ... each time a ray of light ran deep into my heart and drove the darkness away until i felt like a star shining bright myself .

This made me realise that i was wrong, that i am not alone, for these stars are not just stars, they are those who care for me, who love me, who not only say but mean " I am there for you"

Now I know that at times we can be wrong , and at times life can be an awful song ... but we need not lose hope .. for it is this time when you know there are someone who care ... and would be there to support you and walk with you if not carry you in their shoulders ..................

So , close your eyes , and find those stars , .... and I assure there would be many not one

If I can see it, then I can do it
If I just believe it, there's nothing to it

Oops ! I delayed it again !!!

Again .. complains of the blog being outdated ( refer previous post comments )

Ok ok ok ! well the reason could probably be ... hmm a lot of work ? naa ... may be . no time ! .. no i had loads of time .. well the the answer should be distractions !!!

Yep there were a lot of them ... a few bad ones .. a lot of good ones .. some serious thoughts .. some indulge yourself - spoil yourself kinds ... some "taking you on a high" kinds .. there were a lot of distractions .. especially the last week when my mind was set neatly high above what i could imagine or well may be i was imagining a lot more !!!

Sometimes you tend to give in to temptations ... but if you regret later .. then its a learning experience !! So I can say I have learnt something in the last few weeks , perhaps learnt a llot in the last few days when I was rebuked by a couple of very good friends for some deeds of mine which I thought was something worth being curious about . !!

" In the beautiful and interesting journey of life , In the lonely streets and happy places, At unknown corners , important junctions, of this simple but chaotic life , sometimes , co-incidently , we meet several people who are strangers , have different backgrounds , various ups and downs , pros and cons , and in these several there are some who exchange a few thoughts and then continue their way , and there are a very select few who remain, along, or maybe at times even merge thier way with yours, and together trudge the rough ways of life" - and these select few are definitely our "Best friends".

Sometimes we recognise them , sometimes we don't ! .. but that doesnt change their feelings . for they will be there for us always and forever !!!

I dedicate this post to my Best Friends . and I need not mention their names ... for they would know themselves !!

Long time .. and a lot to talk about

There remains my blog outdated .. for the second time for a long period .!!!

I feel the reason could be Ramazan , where most of my free time was dissolved in piety, or may be the new job, where we hardly have any time other than Networking !!! or may be both together .

Now as the Holy month of Ramzan-e-mubarak is over .... after sighthing the Eid ka Chand which looked exteremely gorgeous in the dusky sky ... on the 30th day of fasting .. Celebrating Eid-ul-fitr (or the festival of charity) a day of thanks giving, when all the world over, congregate in vast numbers, offering their prayers in open spaces before noon, standing shoulder to shoulder, obliterating thereby all tags of identity and ranks of birth before the presence of Almighty . The cadenced way of performing namaaz where all bow down together .. the feeling still lasts. ... and the closeness of value of brotherhood felt when eid is greeted to each other .. by the significant Three Hugs ... and a handshake .. to all .. whether its ur brother , friend or someone you have never seen before.. !! and then the sweets .. the delicious toothsome Biriyani ... I have no place for words in my mouth now .. (its watering ..lol :p)

And ..talking of festivals, Diwali, the festival of lights has just passed too ...celebrated with utmost grandeur.. the auspicious poojas , the delightsome arrays of diyas and the dazzling deepas, and not to forget the fireworks .. the awesome black sky decorated with lights and colours flashing .. with little cute kids to adorable oldies .. all enjoying the sweets and fireworks .. thus defines Deepavali.

Hoof ... hangover of festivites .. made this blog colourful .. anyway the main reason why i thought ill continue with my blogging .. was inspiration from the blog of my Best Pal - Harish - whose blog of november 09 influenced me to continue blogging !! way to go dude !!!

Wanted to write some more .. or probably lots .. but will leave that for other posts !!! Youve already spent a lot of effort reading this one :)

My Last Day - of - My First Job !!!!

My last day .. of my first Job. Today the 24th of October, I quit my first job. After a year and a couple of months of work and fun, Joy and strife, excitements and dissappointments, laughter and sorrow, all bundled together, I move on, to another place leaving behind a lot of memories and taking along a lot more.

When I look back, I can say, I have learnt the hard truth of life and career, I have learnt to be a lot more responsible than I was, I have seen the differnet tactics and ways to influence people. I can say with all pride that some people from here remain embedded in my heart - I have found here, my bestest friends, some true friends who not only know but also at times define the word "Friendship"......this is for them .....

Today is the last day,

The last day of my first job.

The last when I say,

Thank you for Microsoft.

Its been a year and a couple 30 days,

Its time to now part ways,

Taking with me, some hopes, some experience,

Some wishes, and wonderful memories immense.

I look back and treasure the moments I spent,

Starting with some unknown strangers,

Who later became friends - but now a Family.

Those sweet moments linger, all full of glee,

The Fun, the rolling on floor laughs,

The long running team meets, the eagerness of aux 2,

The hesitancy to auto in, after a team meet, leading all to the loo.

Jokes, Witty humour and all PJs,

And rumours of presence of a few Gays !!!

MSN chats, some use for tech talk, some to flirt.

Group chats for fun, although some feel hurt.

I would miss each and every moment,

Each and every person I know who has placed me in their heart.

Ill still be there, though not physically,

I leave behind a lasting impression of me -

- a gift for all of you out there -, whom Im gonna miss.

I say goodbye today,

Today - The last day of my first Job.

---------------------------------------

Just good friends ...er ...

When Friendship turns Love

This wall unknown , that seperates us , hey girl.
What lies beneath it , I aint got no clue !
Slowly and stealthily , the secret does unfurl,
I know not why , I yearn to be with you.

Make me know , why you lodge in my heart's inn ,
When the swift air feels upon your glowing skin.
When the cool water splashes on ur gentle face ,
Make me know why ,I feel my heart filled , in that empty space.
Why the weight of the dew dropped rose on your palm ,
Makes me heavy , sinking in the arena around you so calm.

I know you are just a good friend .,
What I know not is .,where this relationship would end .
True friendship is always better than love., Is what is beleived .,
But whenever i look at you my friend ., ive always felt ., Friendship is love.,
Yes ., true friendship is definitely love !!! -


........................................ Mithss

Trustworthy !!! . Who ?

Trust no one till you have eaten a bushel of salt with him - German Proverb

Trust not a new friend or an old enemy

A known enemy is better than an unknown friend.

It hurts when someone whom you consider to be your friend could play a meanie game. When someone whom you thought would help you and support you and share his happinness with you can also act selfish and mean , and try to keep you away from his success and happiness, so that he hath not to part or share it with you. But then, think again. Why should he share his joy with you? If he had considered you to be his friend, would he have kept you away? Naa ...

As they say, "Some things happen for good" , looking at it positively, I feel we do have to act a little smarter in not considering all relationships to be of same decree. Some get nicer to you when they need you, some get nicer to you when you need them.

Dedicated to all my bestest friends..

"Will You Be There"

There are times when you have everyone with you around and you feel alone ... the times when you feel like being with all your friends , when you crave for attention , when you need a shoulder, but when you have everyone around you feel the pinch that you're still alone !!!! Well on this I wanted to write a poem about loneliness , but being a little positive I thought this song suits best ..................

Hold Me

Like The River Jordan

And I Will Then Say To Thee

You Are My Friend

Carry Me

Like You Are My Brother

Love Me Like A Mother

Will You Be There?

Weary

Tell Me Will You Hold Me

When Wrong, Will You Scold Me

When Lost Will You Find Me?

But They Told Me

A Man Should Be Faithful

And Walk When Not Able

And Fight Till The End

But I'm Only Human

Everyone's Taking Control Of Me

Seems That The World's

Got A Role For Me

I'm So Confused

Will You Show To Me

You'll Be There For Me

And Care Enough To Bear Me

(Hold Me)

(Lay Your Head Lowly)

(Softly Then Boldly)

(Carry Me There)

(Lead Me)

(Love Me And Feed Me)

(Kiss Me And Free Me)

(I Will Feel Blessed)

(Carry)

(Carry Me Boldly)

(Lift Me Up Slowly)

(Carry Me There)

(Save Me)

(Heal Me And Bathe Me)

(Softly You Say To Me)

(I Will Be There)

(Lift Me)

(Lift Me Up Slowly)

(Carry Me Boldly)

(Show Me You Care)

(Hold Me)

(Lay Your Head Lowly)

(Softly Then Boldly)

(Carry Me There)

(Need Me)

(Love Me And Feed Me)

(Kiss Me And Free Me)

(I Will Feel Blessed)

In Our Darkest Hour

In My Deepest Despair

Will You Still Care?

Will You Be There?

In My Trials

And My Tribulations

Through Our Doubts

And Frustrations

In My Violence

In My Turbulence

Through My Fear

And My Confessions

In My Anguish And My Pain

Through My Joy And My Sorrow

In The Promise Of Another Tomorrow

I'll Never Let You Part

For You're Always In My Heart.

with regards to MJ king of Pop

Is Life Challenging ? Or are we trying to chalenge Life ?

"Man is a pendulum between a smile and a tear" -- Bryon

The above phrase says it all !!! The ability to change a tear to a smile is what makes life challenging , but by trying to hide a tear with a smile are we trying to challenge life ?. Phrases are used easily but how often do we realise the true meaning of them?. There are times when we smile, times when we cry , but there are also times when we cover our sorrow in form of smiles , or in other words cover the truth in form of lies.Why do we do it ? Whom are we trying to deceive? Are we trying to run away from the truth instead of facing it or are we in need of solitude? why does it become difficult when we have to share our sorrows and pains. Is it confusion or ignorance, or is it just pretence.

For me experience speaks .. There were times when I have smiled, there were times when I have cried my heart out , but the times when I had to hide my sadness with a smile are just infinite. Yes it was difficult for me, But it made the atmosphere around me easy. No , I was not deceiving myself, nor was I trying to run away from the truth nor was I seeking solitide. But I still have no answer why I do it. They all know me, they think im very happy, they can see my carefree attitude, but is my heavy heart beating within visible or my sore mind confused and tense, seen? I know It aint good to supress the agony deep within.. I try to make my woes flow out to the world, and share my sorrow for my comfort.. but then a thought lingers deep within ... what am I trying to do? What right do I have to spoil their happiness with my troubles? why should I steal their smiles to wipe my tears? Why am I spreading the eerieness of my woes in the euphoric atmosphere around me? They all look so happy or are they too being like me .. covering the truth in form of lies ... hiding the agony with a smile? huh !!! I am back to square one .. I guess its just that we all are in search of eternal bliss although we all know that it aint that easy !!!

There are some questions that are best left unanswered !

You are looking at Me

Mush
Originally uploaded by mithss.

A close up on me ... Many have said that I really look good in this pic .. (Modest and me? No way!) .. I guess this pic does makes me look what I actually am ... - Charming !!!

The poetic side of me ... another of my few poems

The following piece of poetry is a prize winning poem at the SHRISHTI college fest which was held in St.Anne’s College Bangalore. It describes about the life of a youth who spent his youth on unnecessary freedom !

YOUTHFUL TRAGEDY

He had a privilege accorded to none of his peers,
So he sat there daringly waiting to die,
And I guess, it was well deserved, as,
The life he led was nothing but a lie.

A blurred image of tears with sight,
And then to a complete vision,
Of metal bars ahead, stone walls behind.
It just seemed a consequence of a weird reason.

Haunting voices of remorse and regrets,
Desire to live clean again burnt within.
His life, now just a dream, and death quite clear,
Survival for existence seemed dim.

Rock and roll, alcohol and drugs,
Was either his imperative or lust.
Time seemed to be in his in hands,
Until it blew him away like dust.

It was then narcotics on his mind,
He was eighteen then, with a future untold.
Never a worry or ever seemed sorry,
Arrived the death, of the life he couldn’t hold.

Freedom seemed a distant reality,
Death was quite certain.
Six serial murders his only due,
The life he smoked, his sins did chew.

Now an hour and dead he will be,
Leaving an impact of his youthful life to see.
He leaves the world, warning the youth one and all,
Or like him simply death will call.

----Mithss

You want different .. Go read some other Blog

CRITICISM .. .aint new to me ! so thats fine . But there are times when you are fed up of criticism. Guess its just another truth of life -- Criticisms you get many , but appreciations a few !!! .. May be I was just overdosed with it. No regrets !!!! The +ve side is mez a lot more confident of myself. Sometimes learning things the hardway teaches us a lot. hmmm There I go again ..lecturing on something that aint interesting .. same topic .. different words!!!

How many times have we asked ourselves .. WHY ME ???? .... and how many times have we been answered? . I asked that question to myself again today ..and the answer --- Maybe because I talk a lot .. Do I? .. Or May be I just dig my own grave! or Maybe .. I never retaliate to the comments and criticism just thinking that it will pass. Or maybe I dont know how to retaliate . Or have I lost my self - respect? Or may be I have a lesser ego .. or maybe .. well the answers can be many ... but the resolution is just one - Be yourself !

Are u Feeling emotional -- Shhh -- Read This !!!

Hey has my blog become outdated ?? .. well then here are some updates!!!


I had a interesting week this time .. it had all mixed emotions . Anger, dissappointment , frustration, joy, sorrow, happiness, fun, trouble, tiredness, relaxation, and a lil worrying and concern too. !!! I love it when I have it all .

We have to thank GOD for creating so much of a variety in the way u feel - feelings describe you at a given point of time .!!.

Let me explain in brief about a few colors -- ( or ull say im bluffing eh ? ) -

Anger - Yup .. my brother made me lose my temper .. aah a usual difference of opinion tussle which has been going on from the day he was bornDissappointment -- this is the most felt feeling !!!.. saw a lot of these moments .. especially when the Maverick Meet didn't happen the way it had to .. and also the Mav Tshirt wasn't ready yet ! Well I also wanted to take a Personal loan to give to dad .. but was denied due to some shitty rules. well there were many of such small moments

Trouble - ha ha .. running into trouble is not a new thing .. guess what i have a bad deal with the traffic cops here .. had to pay a fine as my bike was parked in a no parking area .. but the hell thing is - there was no sign that told me that ! .. had to give a small bribe.

Fun .. This is something I have anyways and always .. so not much of an explaination !

Happinness ... hmm this is some thing related with fun .. but its also felt Deeply when someone whos with you at that time keeps smiling and laughing ear to ear , with some dimples running deep !

Tiredness - well I am feeling that right now .. yaaaaaaawn .. tired and very sleepy . had no sleep last night at all.. but
that was due to another one called concern ! Anyways this weekend i travelled around 150 kms on bike in city alone ..woaah .. yup this is when i experienced most of the above emotions

Relaxation - aaaah .. I did relax .. sipping some coffee at a cafe with a friend .. sharing sweet nothings .. thoughts ..opinions and more . and this led to happiness and smiles ! well also i feel relaxed best when i go home and cuddle up with my cute lil 5yr old sis .. and play with her .. she makes me forget completely that big bad outside world .

Embarrassment .. well I had to hear a lot of sorrys this weekend ,, through emails .. SMS . phone .. personal ..aaah .. lemme tell ya people .. sorrys make me uncomfortable .. its alright evrybody does mistakes u don have to be sorry .. but jus try not to repeat it .

Concern and Worry - Well there was a lot that made me worry .. although i never expected .. A few financial crisis regarding home  and then a lil or u can say a lil too much about a friend of mine .. who kept me up wide and awake all night waiting for a call ... but anyways did get a call that made me feel content !

Satisfied -- after all those feelings .. yes i can say this week was worth all those moments spent - some nice , some not good and some memorable

Pizzas , coffee and sleep - A complete relaxation

Wow - did I expect that .. naaaah !!!
Well i was a bit upset about the weekly offs being mon/tue .. but guess what .. I feel I had a really awesome weekend ! .. To start off I had a good Sleep ..Zzzzzzzz .. oh im feelin sleepy just at the thought of it .. yaaaaaaawn .
And then met up with colleagues and friends for some Pizzas ( haa ! Im having pizza every other day .. gotta pause a few days - else me will get bored of them ) and Cappuchino and Cafe frappe at Coffee day with a friend of mine who meets me every 15 days that come after 24 hours ...... CONFUSED ??? .. lol - its a sweet story ... you'll not understand it ! ;-)
Well I enjoyed my weekend .. did some work too .. and well had a handsome salary credited on the 1st of September .as we got our due of incentives - - Hmm now how do I spend it.. Im still thinkin !!!!!

Well back to work now ... i gotta wait for another 15 x 7 days .. for my next weekly off --- woah .. am i still in that hangover ? .... ok let me hang up for now .. keep waitin ..

aah a New weekend !!!

hmm well well well -- Weekend is back -- but its a bit dissappointing although not much of a difference as the offs have been changed from wed/thu to mon/tue. Anyways .. weekends are weekends .. some time to relax and lots of time to do work other than office stuff !

Wel about my decision to quit and join DELL .. well I have decided to wait for a better oppurtunity. Tired of night shifts but love the fun work environment here . theres not a day that goes when i have not laughed at work for some joke . Well even if there is no joke i try to crack one .as i have heard that laughing is healthy !!!

To tell the truth I just laugh to overcome the serious me inside ...the people who know me will never beleive that I can ever be serious ... but thats the real me ...! am i talking too much about myself .. ok shhhhhhhhhh

Its time for some breakfast ... and then time to enjoy the weekend ..so catch up later after the weekend ..

Time for some decision making !

Hi, Im Back after the weekend !!! there was a lot that happened this weekend , and a lot of expense too :( .

Anyways .. Day before yesterday I went for an interview to DELL for the post of a Sr.Tech Support, and was selected too. Im being offer a good pay !! But I am confused as its the same night shift again , but anyways I have already decided to do a course on J2EE !!! Yea I love java .dunno why but just love it .. may be the fact that it is Object oriented .. ha ha lol

I had been to an institute to enquire about the course and the fee structure yesterday with one of my good friend - Deepa who was my colleague at work !! ( She is in a Day job now -- lucky girl ) and guess what they quote a full 10K for a course on Advanced Java . whoaa now thats a but too much , and all the while I hadnt realised that I had left my Goggles in my bike until i came back and found it there without it even being touched by anyone !!!

But for now its time for some decision making, most probably I would quit my current job soon and join DELL on 13th september .. - Did I hear Unlucky -- naaah i don beleive in Bullshit !!!
I think this was a good weekened a lot of things happened, I also gave the order for the long pending Mavericks Tshirt. Well here too , I had left my goggles in the bike and I when I came back for it I realised I have left my bike keys in that shop - Now do you call that carelessness !!! well I DONT CARE what you call that ! i just think that that either the Cops are really doing their job well or the crooks are blind .

Well ive just ordered for a sample T-shirt which needs to be confirmed by the whole group. Well im talking about Mavericks - A wonderful bunch of FRIENDS who believe in Friendship and its trueness more than anything else. - Will talk about the groups later -- coz i need a lot of time to talk about it and have no time now

Ciao For now .. will post some interesting stuff soon .. keep waitin !!!

My first poem !!!

This was my first poem which just happened and made me discover my hidden talent of poetry !!! - Thats the good part of it .. and as its said every coin has two faces .. it has a sad part too . I wrote this after a my first break up.. and rest is history

Waiting ! Just for you !

Girl I lie trapped in your love ,
Like the sunset lies trapped between ,
The twilight and the night,
The darkness and even the light.

My tears dried within my eyes ,
Covering the truth in form of lies .
My face rough , {not with age},
Hiding the pain , the pain of love .

Haunting feelings of pain and insecurity ,
Misery of a thousand flames burn within .
Never did I feel like this before,
Survival for existence seemed dim .

My heart’s crying ,
My lips sealed .
My body is trembling ,
But I am standing still.

My mind’s empty,
My heart’s sore.
Self Respect ----I have no more.

After everything I am still ,
Waiting ! Just for you .
Give me back feelings of lost love ,
Save the agony of waiting .
Life goes on ………….
……………without me,
Im not alive…………..
…………..without you .

--- Mithss ..

The Heat is on !!! The pic just means that I set all hearts on fire !!!

Its fun To Join The Bandwagon .............

yeaah .. Im in too :) !!!

Hey , Nirupesh started it , Harish Followed .. and Musheer will take it to the fore ....... ( wow Am I referring me as third party too .. well i learnt how to show off from my better plumpy half ) .. after all creativity doesnt seem complete without " MITHSS" !!!

Anyways , yes STs Im doing this on call , and i care a damn to what you have to say about that !!! ..lol ..

Well the recent blogs were just about either war rooms , SP2 , Work and the usual cribs , .. well thats whats happenin everyday. Well the things on xp floor are same as how it would be when heavy rains pour on a hot desert that did not have rains for decades !!!

Today i have another poem in my kitty .. well this one was very difficult to pen as i was asked to pen a poem by Nishant .. that too a funny one on wave one completing a year !!! Beleive me ive written poems in a jiffy .... but its difficult for me when someone asks me to write one . . coz my poems are mostly what i feel at that time and that is easy to pen . Anyway If u wanna read it .. i may post it here or in the yahoo groups .

yeahh .. very hungry now ... im on calls for 7 hrs now without any breaks ..as we were the only team on floor from 7pm to 12 am - yeaahhh thats sad .. ive not had my dinner . .. and then i dont want Karma to say that im Vanishing !!!! lol

Ok .. yipppeeeeeee .. my 5th call in a row without breaks is done ... now i can get a break . as there are enough teams logged on .. ok i guess i have to vanish off to dinner now .. else ill vanish from the earth .!!!
!!!!!