Is Life Challenging ? Or are we trying to chalenge Life ?

"Man is a pendulum between a smile and a tear" -- Bryon

The above phrase says it all !!! The ability to change a tear to a smile is what makes life challenging , but by trying to hide a tear with a smile are we trying to challenge life ?. Phrases are used easily but how often do we realise the true meaning of them?. There are times when we smile, times when we cry , but there are also times when we cover our sorrow in form of smiles , or in other words cover the truth in form of lies.Why do we do it ? Whom are we trying to deceive? Are we trying to run away from the truth instead of facing it or are we in need of solitude? why does it become difficult when we have to share our sorrows and pains. Is it confusion or ignorance, or is it just pretence.

For me experience speaks .. There were times when I have smiled, there were times when I have cried my heart out , but the times when I had to hide my sadness with a smile are just infinite. Yes it was difficult for me, But it made the atmosphere around me easy. No , I was not deceiving myself, nor was I trying to run away from the truth nor was I seeking solitide. But I still have no answer why I do it. They all know me, they think im very happy, they can see my carefree attitude, but is my heavy heart beating within visible or my sore mind confused and tense, seen? I know It aint good to supress the agony deep within.. I try to make my woes flow out to the world, and share my sorrow for my comfort.. but then a thought lingers deep within ... what am I trying to do? What right do I have to spoil their happiness with my troubles? why should I steal their smiles to wipe my tears? Why am I spreading the eerieness of my woes in the euphoric atmosphere around me? They all look so happy or are they too being like me .. covering the truth in form of lies ... hiding the agony with a smile? huh !!! I am back to square one .. I guess its just that we all are in search of eternal bliss although we all know that it aint that easy !!!

There are some questions that are best left unanswered !

You are looking at Me

Mush
Originally uploaded by mithss.

A close up on me ... Many have said that I really look good in this pic .. (Modest and me? No way!) .. I guess this pic does makes me look what I actually am ... - Charming !!!

The poetic side of me ... another of my few poems

The following piece of poetry is a prize winning poem at the SHRISHTI college fest which was held in St.Anne’s College Bangalore. It describes about the life of a youth who spent his youth on unnecessary freedom !

YOUTHFUL TRAGEDY

He had a privilege accorded to none of his peers,
So he sat there daringly waiting to die,
And I guess, it was well deserved, as,
The life he led was nothing but a lie.

A blurred image of tears with sight,
And then to a complete vision,
Of metal bars ahead, stone walls behind.
It just seemed a consequence of a weird reason.

Haunting voices of remorse and regrets,
Desire to live clean again burnt within.
His life, now just a dream, and death quite clear,
Survival for existence seemed dim.

Rock and roll, alcohol and drugs,
Was either his imperative or lust.
Time seemed to be in his in hands,
Until it blew him away like dust.

It was then narcotics on his mind,
He was eighteen then, with a future untold.
Never a worry or ever seemed sorry,
Arrived the death, of the life he couldn’t hold.

Freedom seemed a distant reality,
Death was quite certain.
Six serial murders his only due,
The life he smoked, his sins did chew.

Now an hour and dead he will be,
Leaving an impact of his youthful life to see.
He leaves the world, warning the youth one and all,
Or like him simply death will call.

----Mithss

You want different .. Go read some other Blog

CRITICISM .. .aint new to me ! so thats fine . But there are times when you are fed up of criticism. Guess its just another truth of life -- Criticisms you get many , but appreciations a few !!! .. May be I was just overdosed with it. No regrets !!!! The +ve side is mez a lot more confident of myself. Sometimes learning things the hardway teaches us a lot. hmmm There I go again ..lecturing on something that aint interesting .. same topic .. different words!!!

How many times have we asked ourselves .. WHY ME ???? .... and how many times have we been answered? . I asked that question to myself again today ..and the answer --- Maybe because I talk a lot .. Do I? .. Or May be I just dig my own grave! or Maybe .. I never retaliate to the comments and criticism just thinking that it will pass. Or maybe I dont know how to retaliate . Or have I lost my self - respect? Or may be I have a lesser ego .. or maybe .. well the answers can be many ... but the resolution is just one - Be yourself !

Are u Feeling emotional -- Shhh -- Read This !!!

Hey has my blog become outdated ?? .. well then here are some updates!!!


I had a interesting week this time .. it had all mixed emotions . Anger, dissappointment , frustration, joy, sorrow, happiness, fun, trouble, tiredness, relaxation, and a lil worrying and concern too. !!! I love it when I have it all .

We have to thank GOD for creating so much of a variety in the way u feel - feelings describe you at a given point of time .!!.

Let me explain in brief about a few colors -- ( or ull say im bluffing eh ? ) -

Anger - Yup .. my brother made me lose my temper .. aah a usual difference of opinion tussle which has been going on from the day he was bornDissappointment -- this is the most felt feeling !!!.. saw a lot of these moments .. especially when the Maverick Meet didn't happen the way it had to .. and also the Mav Tshirt wasn't ready yet ! Well I also wanted to take a Personal loan to give to dad .. but was denied due to some shitty rules. well there were many of such small moments

Trouble - ha ha .. running into trouble is not a new thing .. guess what i have a bad deal with the traffic cops here .. had to pay a fine as my bike was parked in a no parking area .. but the hell thing is - there was no sign that told me that ! .. had to give a small bribe.

Fun .. This is something I have anyways and always .. so not much of an explaination !

Happinness ... hmm this is some thing related with fun .. but its also felt Deeply when someone whos with you at that time keeps smiling and laughing ear to ear , with some dimples running deep !

Tiredness - well I am feeling that right now .. yaaaaaaawn .. tired and very sleepy . had no sleep last night at all.. but
that was due to another one called concern ! Anyways this weekend i travelled around 150 kms on bike in city alone ..woaah .. yup this is when i experienced most of the above emotions

Relaxation - aaaah .. I did relax .. sipping some coffee at a cafe with a friend .. sharing sweet nothings .. thoughts ..opinions and more . and this led to happiness and smiles ! well also i feel relaxed best when i go home and cuddle up with my cute lil 5yr old sis .. and play with her .. she makes me forget completely that big bad outside world .

Embarrassment .. well I had to hear a lot of sorrys this weekend ,, through emails .. SMS . phone .. personal ..aaah .. lemme tell ya people .. sorrys make me uncomfortable .. its alright evrybody does mistakes u don have to be sorry .. but jus try not to repeat it .

Concern and Worry - Well there was a lot that made me worry .. although i never expected .. A few financial crisis regarding home  and then a lil or u can say a lil too much about a friend of mine .. who kept me up wide and awake all night waiting for a call ... but anyways did get a call that made me feel content !

Satisfied -- after all those feelings .. yes i can say this week was worth all those moments spent - some nice , some not good and some memorable

Pizzas , coffee and sleep - A complete relaxation

Wow - did I expect that .. naaaah !!!
Well i was a bit upset about the weekly offs being mon/tue .. but guess what .. I feel I had a really awesome weekend ! .. To start off I had a good Sleep ..Zzzzzzzz .. oh im feelin sleepy just at the thought of it .. yaaaaaaawn .
And then met up with colleagues and friends for some Pizzas ( haa ! Im having pizza every other day .. gotta pause a few days - else me will get bored of them ) and Cappuchino and Cafe frappe at Coffee day with a friend of mine who meets me every 15 days that come after 24 hours ...... CONFUSED ??? .. lol - its a sweet story ... you'll not understand it ! ;-)
Well I enjoyed my weekend .. did some work too .. and well had a handsome salary credited on the 1st of September .as we got our due of incentives - - Hmm now how do I spend it.. Im still thinkin !!!!!

Well back to work now ... i gotta wait for another 15 x 7 days .. for my next weekly off --- woah .. am i still in that hangover ? .... ok let me hang up for now .. keep waitin ..